By Hafsa Akhlaq | Discover Psychology Literary Competition & Exhibition of Works 2026
It was a dark evening, the sky was covered with pitch black clouds, despite the fact it was only around six o’clock, as she walked alone along the road leading to her hostel. She kept moving forward without paying attention to where she was going, her arms folded tightly across her chest, her eyes fixed on the ground. Although her body was in motion, her mind was lost somewhere in the past.
Her thoughts were consumed by painful memories—moments, conversations, and countless events that had left deep scars on her heart, like wounds thet left her filled with pain. Tears quietly rolled down her cheeks, soaking her face, yet she didn’t even realize she was crying.
Only one question echoed endlessly in her mind:
“Why? Why me, Allah? Why am I the one who has to endure this heavy pain? Why can’t I get out from under it? Why do I feel so trapped, Allah?”
Her heart was filled with countless complaints about her life, her circumstances, and everything she had been forced to endure. She longed to pour out every sorrow in front of Allah. In that overwhelming moment of grief, she wanted someone to blame for the pain that had consumed her life.
She disconnected herself from everything, from her family, her parents, her relatives, her friends near before one month. And now it was difficult for her to decide whether it was more painful to live with her close ones or to live without them…alone….
She tried to find out an answer, but she had gotten nothing….just deep silence…..an emptiness that she felt deep in her heart, in her mind, in her whole body. Her tears fell more rapidly, she fell down to her knees on to the road, and cried more rapidly without creating noise. Her sobs rose. It was not the first time she felt so helpless, hopeless and broken. She was empty inside but she couldn’t do anything about it, she felt completely helpless to remove her pain…but there was Allah…..there is Allah…..then why doesn’t he do anything for her?? Why did he leave her in such a painful condition? He is superior to everything….He has power to remove all of her pain. Yet, why doesn’t he remove her pain? Why doesn’t he let her get out of this pain? She thought and cried.
She put her hand on her mouth to not let her screams rise any louder. She was in pain…..she felt such pain that she couldn’t tolerate it. The only thing that she felt was right at that time was that she found herself lost in the darkness without any guidance, without direction of her life, without being given any understanding of ways to go.
She didn’t realize that she was on the road and should at least step aside to avoid any accidents but how could she have realized it? She was lost somewhere inside herself. inside her own darkness. She soon lost all her energy to cry and to think anymore. Now, she only wanted to clear her mind from all kinds of painful thoughts, so that not a single thought remained to disturbed her. She wanted to think and wanted to sleep.
She was still sitting on the road with closed eyes and trying to jerk her pain away. Suddenly, she heard the loud voice of a truck’s horn. She was startled and came back to the present within seconds. She saw the truck barreling towards her but didn’t move from that place. Should I die? Her inner voice asked the question. She stared at the truck which was getting closer to her. She kept thinking and then at the very last instance she stepped aside from the centre of the road with a deep silence that was inside her body, her mind and her soul. The truck passed by rumbling off into the distance. Now she was walking on the side of the road still trying to find out the answer to that question that was raised and now stuck in her head….. should she really die? She thought about her life, about her goals but there was nothing….just deep silence that began to haunt her badly.
She tried to think about her life but there was nothing in her life…. nothing pleasant, nothing satisfying to her. She tried to think about her goals in life yet none came. She had lost everything, her identity, her goals and the only thing that managed to remain was that same emptiness. She was walking deep in thought when she felt an impact on her side and noticed she had walked into somebody. Her bag fell and some of the other person’s notebooks came with it mixing into a pile. Both apologised to each other and began to pick their things up. When she was gathering her things that had fallen out of her bag she saw a notebook.
“Excuse me! Your notebook…..” She tried to return the diary but the person was in a hurry and went quickly. So she decided to return it whenever she next found the owner.
Suddenly, just as she looked at the notebook again, her phone rang so she took out the mobile from her bag and decided to attend the call.
“Anaizah! Please come fast. Warden’s anger has been triggered bad! You know because of the last incident she doesn’t allow anyone to live for too long out of the hostel. Wherever you are please come fast”. She was her roommate and was afraid of the warden .
“Ok! I am on my way and just coming in a while.” Saying this she declined the call.
She moved forward quickly but came back suddenly and picked up the notebook and put it in her bag.
She entered the hostel, her warden scolded her for staying too long outside causing her to quickly shuffle off to her room.
“ Thanks to Allah, Anaizah you came back”. Zarlish, her room mate, got comfortable because the warden gave her a tough time in the absence of Anaizah.
“ Really sorry Zarlish for this inconvenience”. She was really embarrassed that Zarlish was in trouble because of her.
“ Well it’s fine, but please be responsible for next time. Finally now I can sleep peacefully.”
Anaizah nodded her head with a sigh and sat on the chair in front of a table that they mostly used for studying, or for putting irrational things on it, at times even for breakfast or any number of things with which a table could prove useful. She put her bag on the table and put her head on the back of the chair, closing her eyes she took a deep breath. She felt exhausted from herself, from her life and from everything else around her. She was thinking again about each and every single moment of her life that was disturbing her, although she didn’t want to think about those moments that made her suffer but she was unable to remove thoughts from her mind despite her wishes. She unwillingly recalled the moments and felt more heavy, tears began to leak from her eyes again.
She was crying but once again she didn’t realize that her tears were wetting her face. She wanted to lay down on her bed but didn’t find any energy in herself to move from her chair to her bed. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and tried to breathe, folding her arms around herself tightly. She tried to control her screams but inside she was screaming. She wanted to console herself, wanted to stop thinking, wanted to escape from all of the pain, from life, from the world. She put her head on the table and cried badly without letting her voice out into the room. She was used to crying silently so it was not difficult for her to hold her screams.
She was standing in the dark room, looking around the space for some way to get out of that room but didn’t find any space, any door or any window. There was nothing, everything was black, nothing was clearly visible to her. She tried to find a way by tapping the walls with her hands but she found no clues. She got scared, anxious and cried helplessly and hopelessly. She stepped forward and fell suddenly. She opened her eyes, now filled with fear. She looked around herself and found herself in her room, not in that dark empty place. Was she dreaming? Was it really just a room in her dream or something else? Oh Anaizah! Please leave it. It was just a dream. Don’t think too much about it. She tried to relax herself. She recalled that she slept on the chair, not on her bed. She looked with tired eyes to her bed and went to her place to sleep. Yes, the only thing that she wanted was sleep, a very long sleep that could take her away from all of her pain. Now her eyes were filled with so many thoughts from which she wanted to get rid of. She unwillingly continued thinking and gradually fell asleep.
It was a new morning with chirping birds, and a freshness on the leaves, trees and mini plants. Nature was always fresh in this new morning but so many people did not arise fresh, they were stuck with their previous unsolved troubles, problems and issues. Anaizah was one of those people. She was on her bed, listening the beautiful and full of life sounds of birds and
Yearning to be like them, free from thoughts and problems, just flying in the sky freely. But how could it be?.
“Ah Anaizah! Please stop it”. She said to herself tiredly but unable to stop it.
She was laying on the bed straight without any single movement. Her opened eyes gazing at the ceiling. Suddenly she realised that she was hungry and hadn’t eaten anything since last morning but still she didn’t get up for food.
“Maybe I had to die yesterday. Maybe it was a good chance to end my life there”. She was talking silently with herself. Suddenly she remembered that she had collapsed with someone and she had a notebook of that unknown person from yesterday. Maybe the person was just in a hurry.
She got up from her bed and moved towards the table where she put her bag yesterday. She heard the sound of the opening door and turned towards the door where the girl from another room was standing.
“Did you see Zarlish?” She hesitated and asked.
“No! I guess she has gone to her work”. Anaizah replied.
“But it’s only 7 am right now. Today is my job interview and I wanted to be there on time so I thought Zarlish could help me to get ready.” She got anxious.
“Maybe her shift started early so that’s why she left?.”
“Well! Are you going too?”
“Not today! Actually yesterday I didn’t sleep well so that’s why I am going to be taking off today.”
“Ok okay! Can you help me please?” She asked nervously. Anaizah knew that she was new in this hostel after bearing so many crises and it was her first step to come back to her life when even her family disowned her. Anaizah felt bad for her. She can’t refuse her because she knows the pain when there is no one present for you when you are alone. She remembered her time when no one was there for her when she needed someone and now she just wanted to save others from that pain that she tolerated. She wanted to be that person for others that she never had in her life
“It’s okay if I disturbed you.” She apologised nervously when she saw Anaizah slip into deep thought.
“No it’s not like that. I will help you whenever you need. I am always here to help.” She said politely.
After some moments Anaizah was arranging her documents for the interview, helping her to get ready and telling her some tips for a hopeful success.
“Now you can go, otherwise you’ll be late”. She said softly.
“Thank you Anaizah”. Her eyes also thanked her as she left. Anaizah laughed softly. “My pleasure”.
She found some peace when she saw a peaceful smile on her face. She was feeling better by helping someone like this. After so many times, so many months or maybe years she was feeling better, she smiled after a long time period. Suddenly her smile faded away from her face and tears came in her again eyes.
“Oh Allah why??? Why I can’t find lasting peace anywhere?” Something inside her said silently. The girl was gone and she tiredly sat on the chair in front of the table. She was staring at the things on it with empty eyes and once more got lost in her thoughts. She remembered a very long time period had passed yet why is she still unable to get herself out from under all of these things that are haunting her. She sat on a chair and was randomly opening the drawers, she opened the first one…
second one and then……
third one.
She closed the third drawer and then again opened it quickly. She was shocked to see a cigarette case in that drawer. Zarlish never smoked. She knew it but what was that cigarette case doing there. She took it out and took a cigarette out of it, held it in her hands and was thinking that could she consume this just for once…just for the first time and for the last. She wanted to see if perhaps it might help her pain, though she knew better. She looked for the lighter but instead of the lighter she found a match box from the small amount of kitchen utensils. She burned the cigarette and put it in her mouth but she didn’t expect that it could be so painful, her eyes filled with water and she began coughing heavily. It was hurting. She moved and tapped her hands on the table in search of water with blurred eyes, as she swung her hands things fell from the table. She leaned on the table and after some time she came back to a normal state and tried to take a deep breath. She closed her eyes and breathed heavily.
After 15 minutes, she opened her eyes and looked around the room. There were objects on the floor including some files, note books, random objects and her bag. It was the notebook that was outside of her bag that caught her eye. She sat quietly there folding her arms tightly, trying to console herself. She closed her eyes tightly with trembling lips and pain still on her face. After some moments she opened her eyes, looked at the floor and stared there. She glanced at the notebooks with a silent look and mind. Suddenly remembering it was forgotten by a stranger on the street yesterday. She held that book for too long in her hands and was thinking whether to read it or not.
She decided to read to see if there was any contact imformation written in the note book. After approximately 10 to 15 minutes she opened the notebook and froze while reading the first random line. It was the translation of a Quranic verse, that was:
“Your Lord has not forsaken you, nor He is displeased.” (Ad Duha :03)
She turned the pages quickly and impatiently with increased heartbeat and shivering hands. The notebook was filled with different Quranic verses. She closed it and opened the first page where “My favourite peaceful verses ” was written in attractive handwriting. She turned some more pages and stopped at the same verse that she read some moments ago. She started reading the statements written on that page. As she was reading her heart got shaken, eyes filled with tears. Those words were filled with peace, just like some kind of healing words. .
It was written: “This verse is just like a miracle, whenever I feel myself lost I just look at this ayah and my heart gets filled with peace. When I connected this ayah with my life I just understood how Allah takes care of His servants, how He just knows everything, every pain of His servants’ life and how He cures, He heals His servants. How much He loves His servants that He consoles His servants through His words full of miracles. How beautiful this ayah is. How beautifully He said that Your Lord has not forsaken you, has not left you, He is not displeased, perhaps maybe there are some ways, any chance to get stability in one’s life. If He didn’t leave, didn’t forget about His servants then maybe somewhere in life things can be good, somewhere we get peace in our life, maybe somewhere we get better in our life”. She stopped reading and closed the notebook with shaken thoughts …..maybe……maybe somewhere in my life…….maybe somehow in my life.
She was sitting silently in a still fixed position with wet eyes, increased heartbeat and trembling lips. After a long time, she was not trying to hold herself, not trying to hold her tears. Today she wanted to cry.
One hour later, she changed her position and looked at the notebook, holding it tightly and closing her eyes….. Her breath heavy…… She opened her eyes and then opened that notebook again to see what words were written. She was not so religious but she didn’t know how beautifully some things really provide the feeling of peace, the feeling of consolation she had been searching for. She randomly turned pages and stopped on one.
“And did they not see the birds above them, (sometimes) spreading out and (sometimes) folding their wings? No one except The Most Gracious holds them up (keeps them afloat); indeed He sees everything” (Al-Mulk: 19)
Tears floated in her eyes and her hands shivered. She continued reading after the beautifully calligraphic verse. It read: “ I am just speechless about this ayah. I don’t know what to say about it but as I relate it to my life it just gives me hope. Allah…The most Merciful
for everyone, for His every creature in this world. He even doesn’t forget to hold the birds floating in the air where they don’t have earth, nor any support, they are just between the earth and the sky, but still they fly, because Allah is here to hold them. Just like those birds, we humans do also get stuck in some areas of our life, where we think that everything is finished, nothing is left, we don’t even have earth under our feet nor even sky upward, just lost going forward without any directions. But Allah, the most Gracious, His kindness is for everyone in this world, His Mercy is for everyone who is created by Him, as He holds the birds in the air, why He can hold us too, because He is the only One who can hold”.
Tears from her eyes fell out, she held the book tightly just hugging it in her embrace. She wanted to thank that unknown person. She didn’t realize some words are just like hope, just like lights in the darkness. All the things that a person wants sometimes are peaceful words that make them feel light from all of the burden. She didn’t know how long it would take to have satisfaction and peace in her life. But maybe, there is a chance, maybe, something good will happen in her life. Maybe, somewhere, somehow she finds peace, Maybe … There is hope. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes for the first time feeling a true lasting peace.
THE END
About the Author
Hafsa Akhlaq | Discover Psychology Literary Competition & Exhibition of Works 2026
Hafsa Akhlaq, the student of BS psychology, the purpose of writing is to explore human emotions, relationships and human experiences and express through writing and, to create stability and resilience through, to improve writing skills and connect readers with story and to reflect some challenges and crisis that occurs in human life.
[Content Disclaimer: Works published under the Discover Psychology Literary Competition & Exhibition of Works 2026 are submitted by their respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, positions, or perspectives of Discover Psychology Foundation. These works may explore sensitive topics, themes, or experiences. Reader discretion is advised.]
